Next Time!

Next time you have the urge to smoke some weed, joints, tobacco… stop for ten seconds. Breathe, for ten seconds. Might you be numbing your pain by smoking it away?

My Story with Smoking

When I first started smoking joints, I told myself I was just doing it because it helped me sleep. Just a few puffs before bed, every night. And every night it was, for such a long, long time… What began as a few puffs started becoming a habit, and what became a habit started causing anxiety. I was lying in bed for hours with racing thoughts, fast breath, and sleepless nights. Yet, I still did it.

What Was Going On?

Reflecting on that period in my life, I realized that I was simply unhappy. I was surviving in living rather than living from a place of strength, love, and presence. Although I was surrounded by a loving relationship, I was still not satisfied with who I was, my own history, and what I thought of myself.

So, What Was I Doing?

I was literally numbing whatever was going on inside of me. I pretended that everything was fine, but in fact, I had a lot of shadow work waiting on a list. And the only way I could hold it off was by numbing it. I tried to smoke it away. And that was no fun. At a certain point, my body stopped accepting it: the anxiety, the smell intolerance, the coughing…

Numbing pain with smoking and where to begin?

What worked for me was finding out the reason why I smoked. And when I realized the reason, I committed to myself to start working on it. Whether through self-learning, journaling, books, coaching, or therapy, I did the work. And the work isn’t fun. It’s tough work. And I also realized how important this work is for my own happiness and wellbeing and for those around me.

Just Before Your Next One, Read This

Next time you have the urge for some “fun” or some “relax chill time,” please just check your intention. Is there hidden pain there that needs your attention? Might there be something inside you asking for attention? Maybe it’s time for you to have a look, no matter what the price is.
One glance at a time. One step at a time. At your own pace.

Enjoy my other reads:

Stop Blaming Your Parents: Turning Mindfulness into Self‑Responsibility. On this link.

Living in Peace: How to Find Inner Peace in this World? On this link.

How to Transform Self-Sabotage with Mindfulness and Love? On this link.

Emotional Identity and Pain: Who Are You Without the Struggle? On this link.

External Resources:

Zen & Engaged Buddhism:

Plum Village 

EIAB