Mindfulness of our Triggers Help us Grow

For many years, I thought avoiding certain people was a sign of growth — less triggered, less agitated, less angry. But in reality, I was only avoiding what was already present inside me. I was burying it as deep as possible in my consciousness, convincing myself that if I didn’t look at it, it didn’t exist. As I brought mindfulness into my triggers and the benefit I got from being triggers, my perspective changes.

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Not being Triggered was Great!

I enjoyed not being triggered because I didn’t have to face my negative emotions — my frustration and anger from my teenage years, my fear of abandonment from childhood, my deep need to control everything to feel safe, a need shaped by being born into and witnessing war in Beirut.

For a long time, it felt like these experiences didn’t exist anymore. I told myself I was fine — life was fine. But deep inside, I was unhappy. Something was missing.

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Progress v/s Hindrance

What I thought was progress in my personal development was really just a lens I wore — an illusion that required little effort and brought no real transformation. Looking back, those were not forward steps but backward ones, keeping me further away from the work of truly knowing myself, my experiences, their impact, and how all of it shaped the human being I am today.

Years later, I was lucky enough to meet my ex-partner — someone who held up a mirror to me. That relationship became an invitation to grow, to reflect, to question.

Gabor Maté teaches that relationships are meant to trigger us — not to harm us, but to reveal our patterns and pain. Looking back, I feel grateful. That relationship helped me break down the walls I had built and begin to release the compartmentalization of my feelings.

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Understanding Triggers with  Mindfulness

Triggers, especially those brought by other people, are invitations to self-reflect.

Instead of reacting, we can pause and become curious:

“Interesting that I had this reaction to their behavior. What is being triggered in me?”

“What past experience does this feeling remind me of?”

For me, a trigger is a reaction that feels disproportionate to the situation — like my response has a deeper story behind it.

For example, I might have a political opinion, but when triggered, my opinion becomes much more intense. That intensity is a cue for me to ask myself:

“Where does this intensity come from?”

“What feelings are fueling it?”

“What old experiences are being replayed in this moment?”

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Facing What We Bury

Triggers are all around us. Ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear — it only buries them deeper, where they can grow toxic and chronic.

When we learn to embrace our triggers with curiosity, we create an opening. That opening lets us grow, heal, and move toward a more peaceful mind and body.

It’s not easy work. But it’s the work that brings us home to ourselves.

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Enjoy my other reads:

Recover Your Sovereignty: On this link.

Stop Blaming Your Parents: Turning Mindfulness into Self‑Responsibility. On this link.

Living in Peace: How to Find Inner Peace in this World? On this link.

How to Transform Self-Sabotage with Mindfulness and Love? On this link.

Emotional Identity and Pain: Who Are You Without the Struggle? On this link.

External Resources:

Zen & Engaged Buddhism:

Plum Village 

EIAB