There’s No Way Around Your Suffering—Only Through
Embracing Your Suffering—Then What?
I’ve been on a journey to discover what lies beneath the surface—beyond the parts of myself I know and understand, and deeper into the unconscious patterns that shape me. Emotional healing by embracing suffering and leading from the heart comes as an insight which I would like to share with you, right now as you read it.
The findings? Eye-opening.
And you may discover the same when you begin to look inward.
Where Do You Begin?
Start by understanding this:
You are not an isolated, standalone being.
Your identity—your emotional core—is deeply shaped by your family of origin: parents, siblings, caregivers.
If you work with a coach or therapist, this is essential ground to explore.
Why? Because this emotional blueprint influences how you respond, connect, and make decisions.
Leading From the Heart vs. the Intellect
When faced with a situation—at home, at work, or anywhere—your first instinct comes from your heart. But most of us are trained to suppress that instinct and respond from the intellect.
The intellect, while valuable, is shaped by layers of past experiences and coping strategies.
But the heart?
The heart holds your purest truth.
What Happens When the Intellect Takes Over?
Over time, we’re shaped by culture, trauma, and the need to belong.
We adapt. We mold ourselves to survive.
This adaptation often suppresses our true nature—our emotions, instincts, and intuition.
It’s like trying to drive your car straight into your office. It’s not meant for that.
The intellect helps you park. But only the heart can help you live.
Leading From the Heart Means Accepting Suffering
We’re wired to avoid pain.
We seek shortcuts. We distract ourselves. We analyze instead of feel.
But the real work—the healing work—requires you to sit with your pain.
To stop bypassing.
To allow yourself to feel fully.
Because true transformation doesn’t happen by skipping the hard parts.
It happens by feeling them through.
What Does This Look Like?
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Acknowledging your emotions without needing to fix them
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Sitting with discomfort and learning from it
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Understanding that your patterns were protective, but they no longer serve you
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Peeling back the layers of adaptation until you find the truth of who you are
There Are No Shortcuts to Living Fully
You can survive by avoiding pain.
But to truly live? You must go through it.
This is what it means to lead from the heart.
No bypassing. No masks. No shortcuts.
Only presence.
truth.
Only you.
Emotional healing by embracing suffering and leading from the heart.
Other Reads:
More about my offerings on this link.
About mindfulness on this link.
Learn more about healing your inner child on this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism:
What Does It Feel Like to Truly Sit With Yourself?
What Does It Feel Like to Be in the Presence of Yourself?
Let’s keep this one simple.
The answer, really, is in the experience.
Think of a moment when you’re alone—sitting on the sofa.
No one’s calling.
No one needs you.
There’s nothing urgent to do.
What’s the first thing you reach for?
Your phone?
A book?
Something—anything—to fill the space?
This is normal. We all do it.
But have you ever asked yourself: Why?
What’s Behind the Urge to Distract?
We say we’re bored.
But are we?
If you stay just a little longer—just a few more breaths—you might find that you’re not bored at all.
Your mind is already full.
It’s a thought machine.
Sit long enough and those thoughts lead to feelings…
Which turn into emotions…
Which can offer insight, memory, or healing.
That’s not boredom. That’s presence.
And presence takes courage.
Sitting With Yourself Is a Powerful Practice
It helps you:
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Check where you are on your life path
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Recenter your intentions
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Reset your priorities
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Feel what’s underneath your habits
You may discover restlessness, grief, or old emotional clutter.
You may also uncover peace, clarity, or quiet joy.
So… What Does It Feel Like?
It depends on you.
Some days, it might feel unsettling.
Other days, deeply grounding.
But all of it is you. All of it is welcome.
By learning to sit with yourself—truly—you begin to release old burdens, soften into self-acceptance, and lead from your heart.
One Final Note
Be gentle with yourself.
You deserve your own grace.
You deserve your own presence.
Other Reads:
More about my offerings on this link.
About mindfulness on this link.
Learn more about healing your inner child on this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism:
Fly Free: A Moment of Stillness and Liberation
You are free.
Free from judgment, anger, and hate.
Free from greed, desire, and anxiety.
Free from irritation, sadness, and your deepest wounds.
Free from lust, agony, and long-held trauma.
Fly as light as a feather carried by a soft summer breeze.
Fly as steady as a bird drifting on warm winds.
Leave the baggage behind.
Start again.
Fly as if you were born just moments ago—
free from stories, experiences, and the weight of your past.
No more crests or troughs.
No need to look back.
Feel the softness of yourself.
The kindness of your soul.
The gentle presence in your fingertips.
Let your breath show you the world—worry-free.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Roam this world, mindfully.
And when you’re ready, open your eyes again.
It’s a new day.
A space for your smile.
Your kindness.
Your gentle thoughts.
You are free.
And freedom begins in this breath.
Other Reads:
More about my offerings on this link.
About mindfulness on this link.
Learn more about healing your inner child on this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism:
Healing Begins With Your Inner Child
Healing Starts With Your Inner Child
When we talk about healing, we often mention the mind and body. But what if we stopped separating them?
Your body holds memory.
Your mind holds narrative.
Together, they form your experience of being human.
You can’t have a healthy mind in a neglected body—and vice versa.
Both need nourishment.
Both need care.
The Body Can Heal With Food and Movement.
But What About the Mind?
To heal the mind, you can’t simply “move on” from pain.
You need to meet it.
Especially the pain from your childhood.
You can’t compartmentalize your experiences by age or phase. They live together, connected by emotional memory. And often, the unhealed child within you still shapes the decisions of the adult you are today.
So Where Do You Begin?
Start by acknowledging this truth:
You may be an adult carrying the unmet needs of your inner child.
Every child wants to feel seen, safe, and loved.
And when those needs are ignored, the inner child doesn’t disappear.
They adapt.
shrink.
They rebel.
Or they cling to others to fill what was once missing.
What Happens When You Ignore That Inner Child?
Imagine a 7-year-old in a shopping mall being ignored by their parent.
They tug, they shout, they cry—until they give up.
That’s what happens within you when your inner child is left unseen.
And that child can show up in unexpected ways:
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Overreacting in adult conversations
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Struggling with trust and boundaries
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Feeling unworthy, even when loved
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Seeking approval endlessly
A 3-Step Path to Reconnection
Step 1 – Acknowledge
Recognize that your adult self may be carrying emotional weight from your childhood. This is not a failure—it’s a human reality.
Step 2 – Investigate
What experiences in your past still cause pain?
How did those moments feel as a child?
What would your inner child ask from your adult self now—comfort, validation, or simply a hug?
Step 3 – Befriend
Build a relationship with your inner child.
Check in regularly.
Speak kindly to them.
Let them know you’re here now—and you won’t abandon them again.
Loving Your Inner Child Is Loving Yourself
This isn’t about looking back with blame.
It’s about shining light into the places where love was once missing.
When you befriend your inner child, you’re no longer walking through life alone.
You walk hand in hand—with your past, your present, and your truth.
Other Reads:
Learn more about my offerings on this link.
Here’s more about mindfulness on this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism: