Living in Peace: How to Find Inner Peace in this World
Living in Peace: How to Find Inner Peace in this World
We usually say to people when they die, Rest in Peace but what if we can live in peace too? What if there is another way of how we have been living all our lives chasing success, running after relationships, attachment to what doesn’t serve us, conflicts with those around us and becoming addicted to pain… What if, there is a different way to lead our lives? I struggle to believe that this is the only way and so, I embark on this discovery in this blog post on how can we be living in peace.
From the first instance, what comes to mind is that, to live in peace in my life, I must find that peace within me. But, this is so very abstract. How can I find that peace within me, if everything around me is so triggering? The impulses, the loud people on the streets, the aggression I see in the world… The below average financial class is going further down, while the rich become richer and the middle class shrinking even further… What peace can I achieve in this world within myself!
Peace Movement, internal or external? Or Maybe both!
Peace. I miss seeing that Peace Movement from the 1960s that was smeared with Hippie, drugs and sex in a way to diminish its truest need, to find peace externally beyond ourselves. But as I explored further, I came to realize that we must start somewhere else, or even better, the Peace Movement might need to go in conjunction internally and externally to achieve living in peace holistically.
For Peace to be True, Hate has no Home in a Peace Process!
Hate, has no place in a Peace Movement. Surprisingly enough (and maybe not), I read somewhere, that humans are the only living beings who are capable of self-hate and therefore, I say, hate for others. If a peace movement is to be successful, we cannot, have a grain of hate towards the aggressors, otherwise, we would follow the same pattern as politicians, ‘we create wars to establish peace’ which, has never worked – historically.
And coming back home, our inner home.
Let’s come back to a smaller scope, ourselves. What if, we could start bringing peace to our inner world? And maybe, there might be a way that has helped me, that might help you, too. The thing with humans, that we think we are so different from one another (in a sense we are from an experience standpoint) that what works for me, might not work for you – without even trying (and the other way around).
How can I be living in peace within my inner world, while advocating for peace in my outer world? The how, seems to be always the problem. How do we do that? Here is what worked for me:
Journaling with a goal to understand myself better:
I have journaled since I was twelve years old. I found out lately that journaling helps me identify my struggles, my pains and what keeps my inner world at unrest. It’s a way to self-reflect on my behaviors, my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, and those of others and how they impact me. I question ‘hey, Ashraf, how come this makes you feel this way? Where is it coming from?’ and I allow everything, every thought to come out without judgements or restrain. Things unfold. I learn about what triggers me, what takes and gives me energy and what kind of people I want in my life. I also work, through my journaling on important topics, topics which has caused me great pain in the past, and current ones in the present with a sole goal, to understand myself better – not to blame, shame or judge myself or others. Journaling might help you. It might open doors that you had thought they are not yours to open…
Spending time alone
Realizing that aloneness is not loneliness was key for me and it’s still sometimes a challenge. In aloneness, I’ve found togetherness. Togetherness with the most beautiful parts of my life, my experiences, and the painful parts too. And this was confronting. But, I got the space, the time, to look at the painful parts and embrace them. Through the pain, I’ve become the person I am today. Without this pain, I could be someone completely different. Through this, I found some liberation, and learned how I can be kinder to myself, kinder to those around and how to set boundaries, without building up walls – with love, kindness and care. Try spending time alone, your mind might go in all directions at first, mine did, but you learn to listen with love, not panic.
Healing my Inner Child
We’ve all gone through childhood. Some of us have had brilliant childhoods and some have not. Looking at my inner child, the pain that has been lingering there waiting for someone to acknowledge it, embrace it, love it, and bring peace to it… I couldn’t but look at my inner child in the eye and cry for weeks, months… With a phrase or two which resonate with my experience. Find that for yourself and embrace that helpless child who life happened to. Cry. Scream. Let it out.
Connect with People
Throughout my life, I have walked on the street with a ‘long face’, thinking that people are horrible beings filled with judgements and opinions… Well, I came to realize I am a person. I make a portion of these people, so why not change someone else’s experience. Connecting isn’t necessarily with words. A smile to a stranger on the street makes my day. It makes it even better if I get a smile back but that’s unnecessary. A gesture or a question if the old lady at the supermarket needs help carrying her groceries… With the intention to help, to show love, to connect with kindness – not a hook up 🙂 ! And also, connect with friends and people that you can have meaningful deep connection with. And learn to listen carefully.
Practicing Mindfulness
For me, practicing mindfulness has been the main tool in discovering my inner world. Some people think mindfulness is sitting and kicking out all the thoughts from the mind. On the contrary, mindfulness is always mindfulness of something. I focus on my breath, my feelings, emotions, lingering thoughts, body and I investigate during my mindfulness sessions the essence and the source of whatever comes up. Sometimes, things unfold during or after several sessions focusing on one thing, and that’s when I also use my journal. I use the Plum Village Free App for mindfulness most of the time. And sometimes, I sit in silence applying my learnings.
What does living in peace look like?
When we discover the source of our unrest, we can change the unrest to rest. It’s as simple as that. The source is never external, then it becomes blame. But, sometimes, external factors can be your source of unrest if you have truly and genuinely untangled your knots… Applying these tools, I learned how to discover the source of my unrest, and you can do that too, if you try and give it your 100%.
Once we discover the source of unrest, we can then start to untangle the inner knots. When the inner knots are smoothened, the outer knots seem almost obsolete. Obsolete in the sense of, they will cause much pain to detach from them, but, you know deeply that it is essential. That knowing, is unquestionable and you feel it in every cell in your body.
Sometimes, you have to let people go from your life, work, or even relationships. It is painful, it cuts too deep, yet, essential for yours and others wellbeing and growth.
Living in peace might look like you’ve grown through your pain, your experiences and sprout out a little green stem with some leaves. You’re aware of your shortcomings, your pain, trauma and embrace them and bring love to them, and you bring a smile of kindness to it. You’ve made peace with the world around you, with those who hurt you, because that hurt, is mended, and you find understanding of the hurt, and the actions from others while keeping your boundaries with kindness and love. And in time, that sprout, grows to a small tree and roots in the ground magnificently.
Living in Peace
After great contemplation, I have found that the only way to achieve real peace the kind of peace that humanity has not achieved yet, is by finding peace within ourselves and this might be the main reason why we haven’t achieved it yet. How could have we achieved it while we struggle daily with our unconscious traumas, triggers and inflict harm and create suffering to one another physically, mentally and emotionally?
From here, finding this peaceful island within ourselves might be the first step in the direction of finding external peace in the world. Going to that island and visiting often to dwell in peace can help us in our journey to better our human connections, bring kindness and love to it and create circles of kind human connections among ourselves and the rest, it will follow.
I wish you peace I wish you love I wish you kindness
Check out my other blogs and external links:
How to Transform Self-Sabotage with Mindfulness and Love? On this link.
Why We Mend Our Wounds, Not Heal Them (Yet)? On this link.
Is Awareness the Same as Freedom? On this link.
Feeling Overwhelmed by Personal Growth? On this link.
Learn more about healing your inner child On this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism:
Emotional Identity and Pain: Who Are You Without the Struggle?
Emotional Identity and Pain: Who Are You Without the Struggle?
Over the years, I’ve noticed a quiet, unsettling question echoing beneath many of our experiences:“Who am I without the struggle?”
Pain—especially emotional pain—can become a defining presence in our lives. It becomes woven into our reactions, our patterns, our self-image. When we feel hurt, we soothe. When we fall into familiar wounds, we recover—only to repeat. We carry these patterns so long they start to feel like personality traits. But is that really who we are?
This post is an invitation to reflect:What happens when pain isn’t at the center of our identity?And what might it mean to let it go?
Repeating Patterns and Unseen Loops
One of the main reasons we find ourselves in the same painful situations is because we keep repeating the same behavioral patterns. Often, we’re not even aware of them.
And so, we ask:“Why does this keep happening to me?”
But the truth is—it’s not really happening to you. You’re a direct contributor to whatever’s unfolding in your life. Your reactions, your defense mechanisms, your inner narratives—they all play a role.
When the Pain Stops… Then What?
Now imagine this:The pain stops.The familiar emotional storm passes.The usual triggers lose their charge.
What now?Who are you when the “happening” stops happening?
This moment—of silence, of stillness—can feel almost disorienting. Because for so long, the struggle has given us identity, purpose, or simply something to manage. Pain, however unwelcome, has become familiar.
When Pain Becomes Part of Your Identity
We often build a deep association with emotional pain. It becomes part of our rhythm. A loop.
We feel it.We recover.We return to it.
Why?Because it’s familiar. Because it has shaped us. Because, on some level, we’ve come to believe it defines us.
And here’s the hard truth:We don’t always know who we are without pain.
Your Emotional Identity is not your Pain
But here’s what’s also true:You can be pain-free.
Not because life becomes perfect.But because you begin to dis-identify from the pain.
Your identity is not the pain.The pain is a collection of experiences.It shaped your perception, yes.But it doesn’t define your essence.
You are still you—capable, worthy, whole—even when the pain fades.
Other Reads:
Why We Mend Our Wounds, Not Heal Them (Yet)? On this link.
Is Awareness the Same as Freedom? On this link.
Feeling Overwhelmed by Personal Growth? On this link.
Learn more about healing your inner child On this link.
External Resources:
Zen & Engaged Buddhism: