Healing Starts by Taking Responsibility for Our Inner World
Inner child healing through self-awareness
One of the most profound and difficult truths I’ve encountered on my personal development journey is this: I am responsible for the feelings I carried since childhood—and the belief systems they unconsciously created. These early emotional experiences shaped the lens through which I view myself and the world today. Inner child healing through self-awareness.
Understanding Where It Begins
As children, we’re naturally vulnerable. Our emotional worlds are shaped by interactions with parents, siblings, relatives, peers, and even teachers. When those experiences repeatedly trigger emotional pain—without support or guidance to help us understand them—we begin to internalize those feelings.
Without tools to process them, we store them. We carry them. And over time, they become beliefs:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I always mess things up.”
- “I’m not lovable.”
- “I need to prove my worth.”
These beliefs don’t start as thoughts. They start as emotional imprints—formed when we were too young to make sense of what we were feeling.
What Happens When These Feelings Are Left Unprocessed
As renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté reminds us: “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens inside of us.”
If a child is repeatedly left alone in their pain—physically or emotionally—that aloneness becomes its own trauma. Without someone to help them make sense of what they’re feeling, they begin to believe the pain is who they are.
As adults, those unprocessed emotions can manifest as patterns:
- Self-sabotage
- Negative self-talk
- Difficulty trusting others
- Fear of intimacy or rejection
These patterns aren’t flaws. They’re adaptations. They were once protective. But now, they may be holding us back.
You are not broken. You are mending your wounds. They will leave scars and hurt at times! And that process begins the moment you choose to listen inward, with love.
Taking Responsibility Is Not the Same as Self-Blame
One of the turning points in my journey was learning to stop blaming others—and also, to stop blaming myself.
Instead, I chose responsibility. I went back to my younger selves: the five-year-old, the teenager… the version of me that didn’t know what to do with his feelings. And I met him with love.
I forgave him. Held him. & Said: “You didn’t know what to do. And that’s okay.”
Taking back responsibility meant letting go of the weight I placed on others—my parents, my teachers, the bullies, the world—and returning to myself. It didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me back the power to heal.
You Can Begin This Work Too
Healing begins when we stop waiting for others to fix what they didn’t know how to hold in the first place.
You can start by:
- Acknowledging the beliefs you carry that no longer serve you
- Connecting with the younger version of yourself with kindness
- Practicing self-compassion when triggers arise
- Seeking support when needed—because healing doesn’t mean doing it all alone
If this reflection resonates with you, take a moment to sit with it. Breathe. Listen. Your healing doesn’t require perfection—only presence.
Let this be your gentle reminder: You can return to yourself. One breath at a time.
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What Is Mindfulness—And Why Does It Matter for Your Wellbeing?
What Is Mindfulness?
Benefits of mindfulness for mental and physical health
Mindfulness means becoming aware.
It’s that simple—and that profound.
But awareness of what?
That part is up to you.
Think of mindfulness like a flashlight you carry in your pocket. At any moment, you can choose to take it out and shine it somewhere. Wherever the light lands, things become visible—and from visibility, clarity begins.
Mindfulness is the light.
Your breath, body, emotions, thoughts, or even a difficult relationship can be the object of mindfulness.
Without an object to focus on, mindfulness is directionless. But when we bring attention to something intentionally, we begin to soften into the present moment.
What Does It Mean to Be Mindful?
Being mindful is the act of becoming aware.
When I become aware of my breath, for example, my body slowly begins to relax. My thoughts slow down. I start noticing what I’m feeling—maybe joy, sadness, tension, or calm.
From the breath, I can expand awareness to include my posture, the state of my muscles, or the emotions that surface beneath the surface.
This is not passive observation. It’s conscious noticing.
It’s being with what is, without needing to fix it.
How Do I Practice Mindfulness?
The good news? It’s not rocket science.
Mindfulness begins with a few quiet minutes. Sit upright in a chair or on a cushion. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable. Begin noticing your breath—just as it is.
You’ll get distracted. That’s normal.
Gently return your attention to the breath.
Inhale… Exhale…
This moment becomes a pause in your day. A reset. A return to yourself.
It may seem simple—too simple, even—but over time, it becomes a powerful anchor in your life.
Why Is Mindfulness Important?
Benefits of mindfulness for mental and physical health
In a world that pulls us in all directions, mindfulness brings us home.
It helps regulate your nervous system, ease stress, clarify your thoughts, and connect you with the stillness already within you.
Whatever is happening outside—mindfulness offers a way to stay grounded, present, and well.
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Check-In in the Here and Now
Mindfulness reflection in times of emotional overwhelm
Hello, dear friend.
It’s been a while.
So let me ask: How are you?
Not the “I’m fine” version.
But how are you—really?
Have you felt your sadness creeping in lately?
Have you numbed it with distractions, filled the silence with noise, scrolled until your breath faded into the background?
Have you smiled for others, while forgetting to smile for yourself?
Have you questioned your worth, your place, your presence?
Have you chased something “better,” again and again, only to find yourself standing in the same spot, holding the same ache?
Have you worn your sadness for years—quietly, like a second skin?
If so, you are not alone.
And if you’ve asked yourself these questions lately, then maybe…
This is your invitation to pause.
To undress the sadness.
To sit in silence.
To meet yourself with the tenderness you’ve given others.
Breathe.
Touch your heart.
And ask again: How am I, really?
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Are you near a mental and physical fatigue? Here is why and how to deal with your thoughts.
Mental and physical fatigue and how to manage your thoughts?
Sometimes, it feels like you’re just trying to keep your head above water.
That feeling can be heavy. It’s not permanent—but it can go either way:
toward healing, or deeper into depletion.
The direction? It’s yours to choose.
Mental and physical fatigue and how to manage your thoughts
What Keeps You Hustling?
Start with the mind.
Your mind is powerful. It’s beautiful. And it’s not broken.
A Buddhist metaphor suggests the mind is like a screen—we project onto it all kinds of films. Thoughts, emotions, stories, expectations, judgments… We begin to believe what we project, forgetting it’s just a movie, not the truth.
The “musts,” “shoulds,” and “have tos” are often self-created.
They stem from internal pressure, not reality. And when you realize that,
you can begin to loosen their grip.
A Little Awareness Can Break a Big Pattern
It only takes a moment of awareness to notice:
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What am I thinking right now?
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How am I reacting to this thought?
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Do I want to keep believing it?
That pause—that awareness—is the beginning of change.
You Are Already Whole
You don’t need to be fixed.
You have the strength, knowledge, and capacity to begin shifting your patterns.
But that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.
Asking for help isn’t weakness.
It’s a powerful decision. A courageous one.
Wanting guidance isn’t shameful. It’s human.
The mind may tell you otherwise, but remember: thoughts are not facts. You decide which stories to believe.
Take the First Step Back to Yourself
Start small.
With one breath.
One question.
An act of kindness toward yourself.
You’re not alone in this.
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Reclaiming Your Self-Worth: You Are as Beautiful as a Sunrise
Why Do You Feel You’re Not Worth It?
How often do you do something just for you?
Take yourself out for ice cream?
Book a massage?
Sit down with a journal or a hot tea and tend to your inner world?
Self-investment is an act of self-worth.
It tells you: I matter. I’m worth caring for.
But what if you’re not there yet?
What if you feel undeserving of rest, joy, or kindness?
And deep down, you feel you’re not “enough” to receive any of it?
The excuses show up:
“I’m too busy.”
“My kids need me.”
“My relationship is demanding.”
“I’m exhausted.”
The list goes on.
But have you looked yourself in the mirror—truly looked—and asked why you’re putting yourself last?
How to rebuild self-worth and overcome inner criticism
What’s Blocking You From Seeing Your Worth?
That inner belief—that you are not enough—didn’t come from nowhere.
It may have started in childhood:
A punishing parent. Emotional neglect. Verbal abuse.
Moments that made you feel like your needs were too much, your voice too loud, your softness too weak.
Unhealed trauma creates stories we carry for decades.
Stories that whisper: You’re not worth it.
Not worth care.
or the love.
Not even your own kindness.
But none of that is true.
How Do You Start Loving Yourself Again?
Start small.
Whisper something kind to yourself in the mirror.
Say it out loud if you can.
Look into your own eyes and say:
“I’m worthy of care.”
“I’m still here. And that matters.”
Remember your resilience.
And the joy you’ve given others.
Remember the steps you’ve taken to reach where you are.
You Deserve to Be Taken Care Of—By You
You shine—just like a sunrise.
Every single morning.
Whether you see it or not.
And like the sunrise, your beauty doesn’t depend on someone else noticing it.
It’s just there.
Unfolding. Quiet. Undeniable.
How to rebuild self-worth and overcome inner criticism
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Clinging and the art of letting go
How Many Times Have You Had to Let Go?
Think of the moments you’ve had to let go—voluntarily or not.
A person. A pet. A job. A dream. A version of yourself.
Loss is part of life, and yet, letting go never seems to get easier.
Take a moment: can you recall your most recent experience of loss?
What did it feel like?
Whether it’s a breakup, the passing of a loved one, a shift in career, or something as small as a childhood pet—you may notice a pattern in how you deal with it.
A Lesson from a Small Loss
Recently, my niece lost her hamster. For her, this was the first tangible experience of loss within her household.
She has a few choices:
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She can cling to the memory and wish it never happened
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She can mourn, accept the loss, and move forward
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Or she can suppress her feelings and pretend the hamster never existed
And that third option? It’s the most dangerous. Because what’s suppressed doesn’t disappear. It resurfaces—often disguised as something else, in moments we least expect.
As Adults, We Do the Same
Clinging isn’t just about pets or relationships.
It’s about the emotional patterns beneath them.
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Maybe you cling to people because you fear abandonment
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Or hold tightly to a job title because it validates your worth
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You might rush to replace loss because you can’t tolerate emptiness
The cling itself is not the problem. It’s a symptom.
What’s underneath?
A Few Questions to Ask Yourself
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What am I clinging to right now?
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What deeper wound might be fueling this attachment?
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Am I looking outward for something I need to cultivate within?
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What memory or emotion needs my attention and compassion?
Letting Go Is Not Abandonment—It’s a Return
When you begin to recognize your attachments with curiosity—not shame—you begin the process of release.
Letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving or caring.
It means you stop outsourcing your wholeness.
You return home to yourself.
And from there, you realize:
You are enough.
You are worthy of joy.
And capable of holding yourself through loss—and still choosing love.
Other Reads
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About mindfulness on this link.
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The Everlasting Seeking Syndrome: When the Search Becomes the Struggle
The everlasting personal development seeking syndrome?
This is a personal reflection—part observation, part opinion, part lived experience. Take it gently. Not too seriously. It’s about: Personal development and the trap of constant seeking
When I began my personal development journey six years ago, I was like freshly kneaded dough—soft, open, easily shaped.
I met many practitioners who had already lined up their calendars with trainings, retreats, and workshops. At first, I was inspired. But then, something started to bother me.
It was a question that kept returning:
“Is this what personal development means?”
“Am I meant to be constantly searching for someone else to show me the way?”
I noticed something beneath the surface—a restlessness. A constant reaching.
People were always looking for the next thing that might fix their relationships, their traumas, their families, their inner wounds.
The topic didn’t matter. The approach didn’t change.
The hunger to be fixed was endless.
Looking Inward, Not Just Outward
It took me time to realize that always seeking solutions “out there” often means we’re avoiding what’s already within.
Have you ever stopped to look inward—truly?
Placed a hand on your belly, your chest, and simply listened?
Because yes, teachings can guide.
Yes, mentors can help.
But wisdom? Wisdom is not given.
It is remembered.
What Happens When We Depend on Others for Our Growth?
When you rely constantly on others to show you the way, you might forget that you already have the map. You just haven’t looked at it in a while.
You already hold the intuition, the experience, the insight to face your path.
When you trust that inner compass, external tools become support—not crutches.
The process of accessing your wisdom can be taught.
But wisdom itself? It is not transferrable.
It lives within you.
Why It Matters
When you live in constant search mode, you become an “everlasting seeker.”
You collect tools but never use them.
You gather teachings but never integrate them.
And stay busy—but disconnected.
This seeking can be a coping mechanism. A way to avoid sitting with the discomfort of what’s already known but not yet healed.
Nature Has Its Own Wisdom
A calf stops feeding on its mother’s milk when it’s ready to find nourishment on its own. It doesn’t reject guidance—it outgrows it. That’s evolution. That’s trust.
The same is true for us.
Let your learning nourish you.
But remember: you are not incomplete.
You are not broken.
You don’t need to chase forever to become whole.
Personal development and the trap of constant seeking
Other Reads
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Do You Sabotage When Life Feels “Too Good”?
When Was the Last Time You Truly Embraced Yourself?
Have you ever paused to feel satisfied with your whole self—your strengths, your flaws, your complexity?
Growing up takes emotional courage.
But for many of us, emotional maturity gets interrupted by patterns we develop to protect ourselves.
Over time, those protective patterns become familiar… comforting, even.
So much so, we may not realize they’re holding us back.
Early Disappointments Shape Our Outlook
The lens through which we view the world is shaped early in life.
What if that lens was built around disappointment?
Around caution, skepticism, or fear of things not lasting?
You may find yourself stuck in a repeating cycle:
When life begins to feel good, you unconsciously anticipate that it’s too good to be true.
So what do you do?
You create the ending yourself—before life can disappoint you.
A Common Example: Sabotaging Relationships
Imagine you’re in a healthy, loving relationship.
Six months in, things are going well.
But you start feeling uncomfortable.
Unfamiliar with this level of ease, your mind begins crafting stories:
“Is this really what I want?”
“Something must be off…”
“I’m not sure this is working.”
Instead of exploring those doubts with care, you pull away.
You flee.
Or worse, you sabotage.
All because you’re trying to protect yourself from a potential disappointment that hasn’t even arrived.
So What’s the Way Through?
Ask yourself:
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Where did I first learn that good things don’t last?
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What role has fear of disappointment played in my past?
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What am I protecting myself from?
You can’t change your past, but you can become aware of the beliefs you carry from it.
And in that awareness, you begin to shift.
Reclaiming Joy, One Choice at a Time
You don’t have unlimited time. None of us do.
So ask yourself:
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How do I want to live with the time I do have?
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What if I met joy with openness instead of fear?
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What if I stopped cutting things short just to avoid being hurt?
Letting life unfold without scripting the end is risky—yes.
But it’s also freeing.
Because you’re not here to avoid disappointment.
You’re here to live.
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Why Do You Tolerate Abusive Behavior?
Why Do You Tolerate Abusive Behavior?
According to mentalhelp.net, abuse is a relationship in which one person misuses or mistreats another. The words “misuse” and “mistreat” imply that a line—an internal or societal standard—has been crossed. Understanding and healing from patterns of abuse is a life journey. It starts and ends with self love.
What makes abuse human is intention. Unlike nature or animals, humans are conscious beings. Our actions hold weight. And when that consciousness is used to control, belittle, or harm—something sacred is broken.
Let’s Bring It Closer to Home
Think back to your most recent experience with abusive behavior:
Was it mental? Emotional? Physical?
Did it come from someone else—or from within?
Was your inner child quietly enduring what it had learned was “normal”?
Did you freeze, blush, shrink, or become numb?
These aren’t signs of weakness.
They’re survival responses—learned behaviors shaped by your earliest environments.
Accepting Abuse Is Not Your Fault
If you’ve found yourself accepting abuse in your life, please know: it is not shameful.
There’s no blame here—only understanding.
Tolerating harmful behavior is often a symptom of deeper wounds.
It usually stems from damaged self-worth. From years of internalizing the belief that you’re not worthy of better.
Maybe no one taught you how to set boundaries.
Maybe those boundaries were constantly crossed in your childhood.
But here’s the truth:
You deserve better.
You deserve kindness, love, safety.
You deserve to be spoken to gently, treated with respect, and loved with care.
How Do You Begin Setting Boundaries?
The first step is reclaiming your sense of worth.
Boundaries are not about building walls.
They’re about defining where you end and others begin.
With support—through coaching, mentoring, or self-reflection—you can begin to relearn:
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What makes you feel safe
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What is okay and not okay
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Where healthy challenge ends and harm begins
You can grow from discomfort.
But abuse is not growth.
Abuse is a rupture.
It All Starts With This
Realizing that you are worthy of love—this is your turning point.
Let that love flow:
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From you to yourself
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Others to you
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From you to those around you
This is how healing begins: from the inside out.
Other Reads:
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About mindfulness on this link.
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What Do You Do With All That Freedom?
What Do You Do With All That Freedom?
When you embark on a personal development journey, you begin to untangle what’s been knotted for years.
Some moments are difficult.
Some are uncertain.
Others are full of light, hope, and surprise.
And then—suddenly—you find space within yourself.
A vastness.
A breath.
Freedom.
It might feel unfamiliar… even uncomfortable.
But that space is your creation.
And what you do with it now—that’s up to you.
What Does Emotional Freedom Feel Like?
The cage that once held your pain has opened.
What you feel is liberation—but also vulnerability.
This space within might feel like:
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Anxiousness
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Boredom
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Restlessness
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Curiosity
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Joy
Why?
Because you’re not used to being without your old emotions.
You’re not used to the quiet after the storm.
And that’s okay.
Imagine yourself as a bird, long trapped in a cage.
One day, the door opens—not because someone rescued you,
but because you set yourself free.
Now the question becomes:
Do you fly?
rest?
stay still and savor?
There is no wrong answer.
How to Live in This New Space
Freedom isn’t loud.
It’s not always exhilarating.
Sometimes, it feels like stillness.
like softness.
Sometimes, like uncertainty.
The key is not to rush.
Allow this inner openness to unfold.
You don’t have to fill it immediately.
You can simply be with it.
Let the “yeah, but…” thoughts come—and pass.
The old patterns knock without inviting them in.
Let your nervous system adjust to what peace feels like.
This is transformation.
And this is how freedom lands—quiet, gentle, and real.
Other Reads:
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About mindfulness on this link.
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